My Easter recipe.

Step 1: Take the fragmented musings of multiple desert tribes from 4000 years ago who were trying to make sense of a non-scientific world. Mash them together.

Step 2: Translate them inaccurately through a few different ancient languages.

Step 3: Add a Palestinian and some writings about him by people who never met him, ensure they are written at least 100 years after he died.

Step 4: Translate the writings a few more times and ‘edit’ their contents multiple times for political motives.

Step 5: Thoroughly westernise the belief system. Despite the earlier addition of a man from the Middle East, the recipe should be starting to look white.

Step 5: Combine with some conveniently timed pagan festivals.

Step 6: Mix in some major commercialisation for good measure

Voila: Easter!

Ensure to change the recipe and ignore certain parts to suit your own purpose or point at the time. You could also travel abroad and force other nations to eat your Easter recipe whilst destroying their local cookbooks.

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